The Marshmallow Test: The Truth About Willpower and Success

What Was the Marshmallow Test, Really?

Back in the 1970s, psychologist Walter Mischel at Stanford University ran a simple but elegant experiment. Each child was given a marshmallow and told:

“You can eat this now. But if you wait 15 minutes without eating it, I’ll give you a second one.”

The researchers then left the room and observed what happened. Some kids stared at the treat, covering their eyes. Some sang songs. A few just ate it right away.

Years later, Mischel followed up with the children and claimed a striking finding:

The children who delayed gratification appeared to have more successful lives. Higher SAT scores, better emotional coping skills, lower rates of obesity, and even stronger social relationships. These findings were published in several academic journals and became part of mainstream psychology education for decades.

The idea was simple, and seductive:

The ability to delay gratification = future success.

But as with many things in psychology, there’s more beneath the surface.

Modern Marshmallow Moments: What It Looks Like in Adult Life

Let’s fast-forward to your day-to-day. You may not be four years old in a lab anymore, but marshmallows still surround you. They’re just wearing different disguises.

You don’t have marshmallows. You have:

• Flash sales on Amazon.
  
• Instagram notifications lighting up your phone.
  
• Takeout vs. cooking.
  
• Netflix autoplay vs. going to bed.

And each time, you’re making a choice: Short-term pleasure or long-term benefit?

• Financial marshmallows: Spending impulsively vs. saving or investing
  
• Health marshmallows: Grabbing fast food vs. cooking at home
  
• Productivity marshmallows: Netflix now vs. finishing your course or writing project
  
• Social media marshmallows: Checking likes now vs. staying focused on your goals
  
• Relationship marshmallows: Flaky texting vs. long-term emotional investment

And here’s the kicker: even when we know better, we still give in. Why?

Because willpower isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula. And—contrary to what the original experiment suggested—it’s not the only thing driving our choices.

The Real Secret: It Wasn’t Just About Willpower

Here’s where things get interesting.

In 2018, researchers at NYU and the University of California replicated the Marshmallow Test with a larger and more diverse sample of over 900 children. The results were eye-opening: The biggest predictor of whether kids waited?

Their socioeconomic background.

What does that mean? The ability to wait wasn’t purely a sign of self-control—it was a reflection of trust in the environment.

Children from wealthier, more stable homes were more likely to believe that:

• Adults keep promises
  
• Resources will still be there in 15 minutes
  
• Life rewards patience

But children from less stable or lower-income households may have learned a harsher reality:
If you don’t take the opportunity now, it might be gone.

This adds a profound layer to how we interpret “impulsive” behavior. What looks like poor discipline may be a rational survival response to uncertainty.

So the big takeaway?

Willpower doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Context matters. A lot.

This shifts the conversation from “Why didn’t you wait?” to “What systems in your life made waiting feel unsafe?”

What Willpower Actually Is (and Isn’t)

Let’s bust another myth. Willpower is not infinite, and it’s not fixed.

It’s more like a battery. And that battery drains with each decision you make.

Psychologist Roy Baumeister introduced this concept through his ego depletion theory, suggesting that resisting temptations uses up a limited store of mental energy. When your battery runs low—whether from stress, hunger, or decision fatigue—you’re more likely to give in.

Neuroscience backs this up, too. Here’s how:

• Your prefrontal cortex (the logical, planning part of your brain) helps you resist impulses.
  
• But your limbic system (the emotion and reward center) pushes you toward instant gratification.

When you’re rested and regulated, the prefrontal cortex wins. But when you’re tired, stressed, or anxious? The limbic system takes the wheel.

So that moment you clicked “Buy Now” on an expensive gadget while doomscrolling after a bad day? It wasn’t just lack of discipline. It was neurobiology doing what it does best—seeking relief.

Life Lesson: Systems Beat Willpower Every Time

Here’s the honest truth:

You will never have perfect willpower. No one does. But we can make it easier to make good choices consistently.

Instead of relying on motivation or brute force, try this:

• Automate it: Set your savings account to deduct money before you can touch it.
  
• Remove triggers: Uninstall food delivery apps if they’re your weakness.
  
• Add friction to bad habits: Put your phone in another room during deep work.
  
• Make rewards visible: Use a habit tracker or visual savings goal chart.
  
• Start with tiny wins: 5-minute walks. One push-up. One paragraph.

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about making the better choice the easier one.

“Discipline is remembering what you want most, not just what you want now.”

Over time, systems build momentum. And that’s how you win the real game of gratification.

Limitations of the Original Marshmallow Test

Let’s be fair.

The original Marshmallow Test was iconic, but also flawed. Here’s why:

• The sample was small (just 90 kids—mostly Stanford faculty children).
  
• It didn’t fully account for class, race, or trust.
  
• The outcomes were correlations, not causation.
  
• There were no controls for parenting style, education quality, or trauma.

Later studies showed that environmental factors matter far more than just a kid’s decision in a 15-minute test.

So while the test makes for a good story, it’s not the whole story.

Final Thoughts: So… What’s Your Marshmallow?

We all have one.

Maybe it’s checking your phone during work.

Maybe it’s comfort eating.

Maybe it’s spending money to feel good for five minutes.

The marshmallow isn’t the problem.

The problem is not knowing when to wait—or how to build a life where waiting feels safe, possible, and worth it.

So I’ll leave you with this:

What’s the marshmallow in your life—and how can you make waiting for the second one just a little easier?

Let’s talk in the comments!